By Jan Bathke

Thud … I’ll never forget that sound. I heard it from my laundry room at 6:00 a.m. on January 2, 2024. I found my husband of almost 14 years lying on the bathroom floor. Rod didn’t want me to call 911, but despite his stubbornness I called them anyway. They came in a matter of minutes and took him to the hospital where he was immediately taken to the cath lab.

The cardiologist successfully cleaned out a major artery and placed a stent. While in CCU, Rod recovered, drank some water, and apologized for being such a bother. Hours later, he coded and was put on life support. He never recovered. At noon on January 4, he went to Heaven and is now experiencing what we all long for—eternity with our Lord and Savior.

But how do I carry on? How can I live in the midst of death? How do I manage to take care of all the mundane matters of life while grieving my best friend?

In answering that gut-wrenching question, I remember saying this to the young nurses who had cared for Rod in CCU, “God is good all the time. All the time, God is good.” And I was actually smiling to them when I said that—because God IS good all the time.

In no way am I making it sound like I smile and laugh my way through the day—not at all. Grieving is hard, lonely, depressing. But do you know what God gave me in the midst of all of this? He gave me friends, family, a compassionate counselor, and my GriefShare group who became “Jesus with skin on.” Who cried with me, and prayed with me, and held my hand in church when it became too hard to be there.

And He also directed me to scripture where I found the answer to my initial question of “how do I carry on?”

“Come to Me, walk with Me, hold tight to Me,” Jesus whispered to me.

Jesus spoke to me through scripture. Other times He spoke to me through people, whether through their words or actions.

Full disclosure here—I didn’t always listen to His voice. Oftentimes, I thought I was strong enough to go it on my own. But it was on those days that I struggled more. I sobbed uncontrollably, and then I would text a good friend and my siblings and say, “I’m struggling.” They would respond with the words I needed to hear—words of compassion and assurances from scripture.

For those of you reading this article, whether or not you are grieving the loss of someone dear to you, you will find comfort and direction in the verses from scripture that I’ve listed below. Surprisingly, a popular Christmas hymn verse speaks to me on particularly tough days. “Be near me, Lord Jesus I ask you to stay. Close by me forever and love me I pray” (from “Away in a Manger”).

I am sure you have your favorite verses that speak to you. Perhaps you could add these to your “collection”:

“Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually” I Chronicles 16:11 (ESV). I’m a visual learner, so picturing the process of me actually turning my head and seeking Jesus brings Him close to me.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths” Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV). There are days when I’m crying out loud while saying this verse. He knows what’s best for me—for you. Take Jesus at His word. He will take care of you. And here’s where I say to me—Jan, take Jesus at His word.

“… casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you” I Peter 5:7 (ESV). Here’s another great visual verse. Picture in your mind the act of throwing your problems and grief at Jesus. And then watch Him catch them and keep them. There are many more verses that I could suggest, but these three have really ministered to me. That being said, let me bring you up to speed regarding how the Lord continues to care for me.

Fast forward to January of 2025, a year after Rod went to Heaven, I continue my lifelong process of healing. These verses from Jeremiah 29:11-12 (ESV) have been my rock, my reminder, and my reassurance of God’s faithful presence in my life: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you.”

You see, I will never completely recover from the sudden loss of my husband. But, I will always be surrounded by the love of friends, the joy of Bible studies, and the contentment I feel when I worship and pray.

I still have sad and lonely days, and I still sob. But I continue to attend GriefShare and absorb the advice those sessions provide me.

In addition to the aforementioned activities, I’m learning the importance and delight of reaching out to others and ministering to them. That’s what the body of Christ is supposed to do. The verses in the New Testament regarding the care of widows and orphans have taken on a whole new meaning for me. Just as people have reached out to me, I have been urged—as a new widow—to reach out to others, as well.

One final thought. If you haven’t already, listen closely to the third verse of “Away in a Manger.” It’s such a simple and tender song with a spot-on message:

“Be near me, Lord Jesus I ask you to stay. Close by me forever and love me I pray. Bless all the dear children in Your tender care. And fit us for Heaven to live with You there.”

My hope for you is that you listen to Jesus as He whispers to you—Come to Me, Walk with Me, Hold tight to Me. Remember, God is good all the time. All the time, God is good.

Jan Bathke, Eau Claire, Wis., is a writer for our Hope-Full Living devotions. If you would like to learn more about Hope-Full Living, please visit hopefullliving.org.