Finding calm amid constant exposure to distressing news
By Marta Rees
Content Specialist for
Lutheran Church Charities
Some grief comes quietly. It settles into our lives with tenderness and tears. Other grief arrives loudly — sudden, overwhelming, and shared by an entire community. Loud grief follows tragedies that affect many at once: natural disasters, acts of violence, or losses that dominate the news and remain in our hearts long after the headlines fade.
For many older adults, this kind of grief is especially heavy. It can feel impossible to escape, replaying repeatedly through television screens, newspapers, and phones. Loud grief does not only affect our emotions; it touches the body, the spirit, and our sense of peace.
WHEN THE GRIEF KEEPS COMING
Loud grief is different because it does not allow much rest. It is reinforced by constant images and updates that keep the nervous system on alert. Counselor Jeanette Singer, explains why.
“Doomscrolling is not weakness. It’s the brain looking for safety and certainty,” she said.
Wanting to understand what is happening in the world comes from compassion and care.
Yet, prolonged exposure to distressing news can quietly keep the body in a state of fight or flight. Over time, this can affect sleep, raise blood pressure, worsen chronic pain, and increase feelings of anxiety or despair. For older adults, whose bodies may already be more sensitive to stress, loud grief can feel exhausting and unrelenting.
A WEARY SPIRIT NEEDS GENTLE CARE
Many older adults describe not only emotional fatigue, but spiritual weariness during seasons of loud grief. Dr. Devin Custons, who serves on the board of Lutheran Church Charities and is a counselor who practices in Arizona, Missouri, and Texas, names this “spiritual fatigue” — not a lack of faith, but the result of carrying more suffering than the heart was created to hold at once.
“Wanting to stay informed comes from compassion, not weakness,” Custons said.
The invitation is not to turn away from the world, but to practice discernment. Scripture speaks tenderly to this need: “Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28 NIV). Turning off the news at times is not denial; it is stewardship of the heart and mind.
WHEN THE BODY HOLDS THE GRIEF
Grief is not only something we feel; it is something the body carries. Loud grief may show up as tension, shallow breathing, headaches, digestive trouble, or a constant sense of unease. When the nervous system is overwhelmed, grief can feel like being frozen or stuck.
Another gentle truth is the importance of presence over fixing. Much like the Lutheran Church Charities K-9 Comfort Dog ministry, healing often begins not with more information, but with a calm, quiet presence. When the nervous system is overwhelmed, grief tends to freeze. When calm is restored, grief can begin to move. A comforting dog, a listening ear, or a peaceful moment of prayer can communicate safety when words are hard to find.
With this in mind, there are gentle ways to care for ourselves during seasons of loud grief.
GENTLE PRACTICES FOR TIMES OF LOUD GRIEF
There are faithful, practical ways to care for the heart and body during difficult seasons.
Set aside a “worry time.”
Singer, who is a Lutheran Church Charities K-9 Comfort Dog handler (Lord of Glory Lutheran Church, Grayslake, Ill.) in addition to her work as a counselor, suggests choosing a daily time (perhaps 20 minutes) to write worries down, pray through them or speak them aloud. When worries arise outside that time, gently remind yourself, “Not now. I have time set aside for you.” This can help quiet constant rumination.
Replace doomscrolling with purposeful moments.
If a phone or television provides comfort, consider shifting what is viewed:
► photos of loved ones
► audio psalms or hymns
► calming music
► peaceful nature scenes
The same device can either increase anxiety or bring calm.
Let community grief be met with community care.
Loud grief often calls us toward gentle action. Writing a card, making a phone call, praying by name, attending worship, or participating in a grief group can reduce feelings of helplessness. Small acts of love bring relief to the nervous system.
Share stories and meaning together.
Support groups or simple conversations allow grief to be witnessed. One healing question is: “Tell me one thing you admired about them, or about the helpers.” This helps shift the heart from despair toward meaning and gratitude.
Create loving boundaries with the news.
Receiving one daily update from a trusted church leader or family member by phone, text, or printed bulletin can help older adults stay informed without becoming overwhelmed.
PERMISSION TO REST
Perhaps the greatest gift is permission — permission to turn off the television, permission to step back during intense news cycles, and permission to trust that caring deeply does not require constant exposure.
“You can care deeply without carrying everything,” Custons said.
In seasons when grief feels loud, God’s invitation remains quiet and steady: to rest, to be held, and to know that even in sorrow, we are not alone.
“Be still and know that I am God.” ~ Psalm 46:10
ABOUT LUTHERAN CHURCH CHARITIES
Lutheran Church Charities (LCC) works through LCMS churches to help individuals and families. Headquartered in Northbrook, Ill., LCC is a faith-based ministry and coordinates the deployment of thousands of volunteers for disaster response, crisis care, and mission projects in the United States and abroad. To learn more about LCC Ministries, visit www.lutheranchurchcharities.org.
Above photo provided by Lutheran Church Charities: The Hearts of Mercy & Compassion were on display at The Coming King Foundation’s Sculpture and Prayer Garden in Kerrville, Texas, after the July 4th floods took the lives of 139 people.