By Rev. Richard “Kip” Smith

God created us social beings. We were divinely designed to interact and communicate with one another. That’s why God said in Genesis 2:18 ESV, “It is not good that the man (or woman) should be alone.” All of us have an innate need to see people, hear people, and talk with people. For extroverts, this need is more constant. For introverts, it’s more sporadic. But, we all have this need. Just spend a little time with a 2-year-old, and they will prove this to you, especially when you are talking with someone else on the telephone.

As we age, however, the opportunities to have our communication needs met become more limited. Kids leave home and start their own lives. Retirement brings an end to daily chit-chat with coworkers. Night blindness keeps us from going out to social functions after dark. (I have experienced all of these firsthand.) The loss of a spouse—or our own failing health—can leave us feeling even more cut off from social interaction. And it is lonely.

When I was still active in parish ministry and my mother was still alive, I tried to call her about twice a week. I could tell within the first minute of our conversation whether she had been out or talked with anyone in the past two days. If she had been out and interacted with people, we had a normal back and forth, give and take, conversation. But, if she had not talked with anyone recently, I had no choice but to just listen, and listen, and listen.

You see, she had lots of people talk at her on the television. She was up on the news, but she didn’t have anyone to listen to her thoughts, feelings, and ideas. She needed to get them out.

My mother taught me a most valuable lesson that adult children, healthcare workers, pastors, and medical personnel need to remember. Older adults need to be heard every bit as much as babies, adolescents, and newlyweds. But, some no longer have the opportunity to get that need met.

The most loving thing we can give them is the gift of listening. Their knowledge — cloaked in memories and old stories—needs to be honored. Their feelings need to be accepted and respected. Their concerns need to be heard, acknowledged, and understood.

Here is where Worship Anew needs the help of all of our listeners.

As a former pastor on “Worship Anew,” and in service with the other current and past pastors, we have the great privilege of sharing Jesus’ saving Gospel with older adults, some of whom are shut-ins. We can tell them all the great things God has done for them in Jesus Christ. We can assure them that Jesus loves them. He forgives them. He is with them. He has prepared a glorious, pain-free eternity for them with Himself in heaven. We get to be God’s mouthpiece to them.

But, our pastors cannot be His ears for them. Nor can we hold their hands, hug them, drop by and visit them, ask them how they are, or ask what’s on their mind.

My favorite was to ask the elderly members of the congregations that I served, “How did you meet your spouse?” Boy were those stories entertaining and memorable! They loved telling them, and I loved hearing them. Then just listen.

Give them the gift of your ears and your attention. You will learn something from them, and they will love you for it.

Happy Listening!

Pictured above: The Rev. Richard “Kip” Smith previously served as a pastor on “Worship for Shut-Ins.”