Finding God ’s help in reconciliation Finding God ’s help in reconciliation

By Rev. Michael Wakeland

So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

Matthew 5:23-24

One of the most challenging problems that we deal with in our life as Christians is when we have a conflict with someone in our congregation or church.

One morning, as I was working in my office, I heard a loud argument taking place in our sanctuary. I found two of our dear ladies in a heated argument, which was growing in its intensity each minute. When I entered into the situation, they both stopped and walked away in opposite directions. I later found out that this argument was over who was going to water the plants in the church.

But as I spoke with each of them more, I found that this was only the latest of many disagreements that had brought them into conflict with each other. Unfortunately, it seemed to be getting worse. When I suggested that the three of us sit down and talk about it, they were both very hesitant to take this step and told me that they really didn’t want to talk about it.

Avoidance is one way of dealing with conflict. Unfortunately, especially when we are having difficulties with someone in our church, this can lead us to avoid going to worship or other activities that might bring us into contact with them. Sadly, the devil can use arguments and disagreements to sow division, which can sometimes grow, and even divide or destroy a congregation.

I think this is why Jesus gave us this guidance in Matthew 5. Jesus came as our Savior so that we can be reconciled to God. This peace with God has a powerful impact on our relationships. Receiving the forgiveness of God empowers us to be people that bring reconciliation and peace to others.

Our worship centers around this forgiveness of God. In the Invocation, we hear the words spoken over us in our Baptism, “In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.” In the Absolution, our pastor speaks the words of forgiveness for the sins we have confessed. In the Offertory, we often sing, “Create in me a clean heart, O God,” trusting that He will do exactly what He has promised us. In the Lord’s Prayer, we pray, “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” In the Lord’s Supper, we receive the very body and blood of Jesus, given and shed for the forgiveness of our sins.

Being reconciled to God, through the forgiveness we have through Jesus, is not just a nice thing. It is vital to us. Without it, we are lost and condemned sinners. But with this forgiveness, we are given a new life in Christ Jesus. As the Apostle Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 5:18: “All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.”

So, what do you do if you find yourself in conflict with someone, especially if they are a fellow Christian? If we look closely at what Jesus tells us in Matthew 5, we find some clear directions.

First, He says, don’t ignore the problem. Even though dealing with conflict is something we often try to avoid, Jesus tells us that it is vital that we take steps to deal with it. Even if that means interrupting your regular activities, it’s important to seek resolution of the conflict.

Secondly, He says, “Go.” Don’t wait for the other person to come to you. Take the initiative to reach out and seek reconciliation with them. This may be a humbling experience, especially if you feel that you are the one that has been wronged. Seeking out the person that we have wronged isn’t always easy, but it is a necessary step in the process.

Next, Jesus tells us to be reconciled with them. This reconciliation is based on what we have received from God through our Lord Jesus. We receive this wonderful gift from God through confession and the forgiveness He gives us because of what Jesus did for us on the cross. Our reconciliation with others is based on this, as well. Confessing the sin that caused the conflict and receiving and giving forgiveness as God’s forgiven people is the key to reconciliation.

Finally, the last step that Jesus describes in the process is giving thanks to God, which He describes as returning and offering our gift. Being reconciled empowers us to joyfully return to worship and praise, as we thank God for the forgiveness that He gives us, and for the opportunities that we have to share this amazing mercy and forgiveness with our brothers and sisters in Christ.

I am thankful that I was able to see the power of God’s gift of reconciliation in the lives of the two ladies that were fighting about who was going to water the flowers in the chapel. By remembering that they both were loved by God, and wanted to serve Him, they were able to forgive each other and work out a plan together for taking care of the chapel.

Too often the devil tempts us to underestimate the power of God’s forgiveness in Christ. Satan wants us to doubt the grace of God. But thanks be to God, our Lord Jesus has overcome the power of sin. As St. Paul writes in Romans 5:10-11, “For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”

So, rejoice in the amazing gift that God has given you. You are reconciled to God through our Lord Jesus Christ. And as a result, you have the power to be reconciled to your brothers and sisters in Christ.

The Rev. Michael Wakeland is a retired pastor and serves on the Board of Directors for Worship Anew.